Seeing Double
by umbreonix
Summary: Years ago a thief disguised as a maid infiltrated the Hitachiin manor, made a promise with two twin boys, and ultimately betrayed them, but you've heard this story. What you don't know is that the thief never forgot her promise. Years later she gives her daughter one job, to go to Ouran and fulfil the promise in her stead. Get ready for the ultimate "Which One is Hikaru?" game! K-T
1. Chapter 1

"Oh my god mom." I looked down at my figure not yet brave enough to venture to the mirror. "I don't even… Oh my god." I, who had mastered five different languages by age thirteen, was speechless. There were no words, no words at all to describe just how, I don't even know, if I did, there would be words…. Which there weren't. Already with this disappointing lack of vocabulary my story is not off to a promising start. Let's continue anyway.

My mother sat at the table fiddling with a lock, too concentrated on her task to look up. "It's not that bad." The light of our dingy, and thankfully temporary, one bedroom apartment flickered overhead but remained on, casting the room in a dirty yellow light.

"Really?" I asked doubtfully, "I feel like Fiona in that one scene in Shrek the third. Not only is this probably the ugliest thing I've ever worn, but if I wear it too long I'm pretty sure it will crunch my insides."

"You wouldn't have a problem if you didn't slouch so much." She pointed out. "Maybe this dress will fix your posture."

I sighed and finally walked over from the kitchen to the bedroom to look into the full length mirror. "Oh heck no." I uttered staring directly into the reflection. First of all, the dress was yellow. That light mustardy yellow that doesn't look good on anyone. Second, "Look at these hips!" I exclaimed.

"It's not nearly as bad as-" She started finally looking up and then gave up instead attempting- and failing to hold in her laughter.

I crossed my arms and attempted to lean against the door frame in a gesture of, _yeah-laugh-it-up,-I'll-wait-'till-you're-done_, but found that with the skirt, said action was impossible. "They used those cagey things under the skirt!" I whined, "Those cagey things! No one uses those cagey things anymore!"

"There called crinolines." My mother smiled, "If you don't want to look like a fool on jobs at least learn the vocabulary."

"I know." I said irritated by her nagging. I pat the skirt which gathered on either side to rise a little at the hips. To me it bore the uncanny resemblance of the hind quarters on a cow.

I turned ninety degrees, glancing over my shoulder and winced, "Not any better at this angle." I sighed.

"Well, if you get your job done fast, you can take it off and never have to wear that thing ever again." She had returned her attention to the lock and it finally opened and she threw up her arms in victory.

"What are you even doing anyway?" I finally asked.

"I just proved it IS possible to pick a lock with human hair. Akiyama owes me 10000 yen." She said haughtily, twirling a thin brown strand between her index finger and thumb.

"Woah, seriously?" I asked coming up behind her as she demonstrated her new technique involving threading, and pulling at such an angle to give leverage. I watched in awe, my discomfort at the itchy underskirt temporarily forgotten. "That's awesome." I said turning the lock in my hand.

A quick thing I should probably mention about my family before you get completely lost. We are what one would consider to be thieves by profession. Good ones at that, not good as in good and evil type good, but skilled. Although we do stick to our morals. You could say that we have adopted a variation of the Robin Hood mentality. We would never take from those who are in need (though arguably it's more because of the correlation of effort to steal vs. pay-off), we specialize solely in the rich. That being said we're certainly not a charity. Our way of giving back is not to individuals but society as a whole. We take money that would ordinarily be catching dust in platinum bank accounts and circulate it back into the economy, we also take valuable pieces of art and such hoarded by rich collectors and allow the pieces to be viewed by all.

Of course, ethical stealing garners extreme risk. The wealthy are very attached to their money after all and have the means to protect it at great cost. As such, over generations we have mastered and created several different specialized skill sets which have made us quite formidable. There is no one in the underground community that doesn't know the family name, _Hikage_.

Also I was not just wearing this hideous dress for poops and giggles. No, I just turned sixteen and that means one thing in my household, I was to complete my first solo job. Thus, a week ago, we packed up all of our belongings in France and headed out to Japan. This also meant transferring highschools but I didn't really mind, the first rule of the Hikage family: Never become too attached to a person, place or thing.

I'll be the first to admit, it's not the easiest rule to follow, but if you never make any friends to begin with it helps. So I've become a little disattached and confrontational over the years.

"Mei." My mother finally said.

Yeah, my name literally translates in English to Shadow Shadow Child. Got a problem with it? (see what I mean, confrontational) I stopped tugging at the ribbon at my neck at looked at her. "It is time." She said and I swivelled my head to view out the window and saw the limo pulling up.

It was only when we were both in, the driver had risen up the divider, and the car began to move that she finally started the debriefing.

"I assume you have some idea as to what you're doing by now." She said.

"We're in a limo, so we're trying to show wealth." I started, "This dress is rather plain yet obviously expensive and made of high quality fabric so it's a type of uniform? Based on the time of day a school uniform? I am to infiltrate a private school?" I tried.

"Good." Said my mother.

"Really?" I asked.

"No." She snapped whacking me on the head with a file folder. "You should at least be able to recognize this as the Ouran High School uniform! It's only one of the richest schools in the world!"

I sulked and took the folder. It wasn't my fault, I hadn't been in Japan since I was five or six. "Is there a reason why you couldn't tell me what the job was until now?" I asked.

"Yes." She replied. "You won't like it."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked warily and then quickly opened the folder. The first paper was a small picture of two twin boys around my age.

I looked to my mother for explanation.

"Do you remember the last job I did before we had to flee the country?" She asked.

"You infiltrated the home of a high profile family as a maid and robbed them of a fortune." I said.

"Yeah." She said sadly, I titled my head, mother was never remorseful about a heist, only boastful. "It was the home of these two boys." She sighed.

"Alright." I said guardedly.

"I made a promise to them as children." She said. "My cover was blown, somehow they figured out that I was after their money yet they gave me one simple challenge. To tell which of them was which. If I answered they'd give me the combo to the vault and let me escape into the night."

I snorted, "Just like the rich to throw away their money. The little snots have no appreciation of its value."

"That's not it." My mother objected, "They were just so lonely. For whatever reason I was the only person they ever seemed to trust. They wanted someone to be able to tell them apart."

Oh throw them a pity party, poor poor rich children have problems too. They're lonely. There are people starving to death every day but no, they are the most pitiful children in the whole wide world.

"I could not fulfill that promise, I stole the code while they were sleeping." She said. "But now it's your turn, get to know them, fulfill their wish in my stead."

I looked at her blankly. "What?"

"I know this isn't what you thought would be your first job but-"

"No kidding! This isn't even a job! In fact it's a violation of the first rule! You grew attached to them, now I have to ice their booboos?!" I snarled.

"I think it's the perfect test for you." She sniffed, "You are much weaker than I am so don't even give me that look. You have zero social skills. Of course you'd never grown attached to anyone, you've never spoken a kind word to anyone outside the family, but on a job where you must pretend to be the target's friend, I wonder how it'll go? May I remind you the last time you tried to play grifter you ended up kicking the target through a wall."

"It was a shoji screen." I said in defense. "Wind can knock those things down."

"This is your mission." She said firmly, "No tradesies."

I crossed my arms and slouched in the seat only to sit back upright in order to breathe. Stupid dress.

"Now you read those files the rest of the way, young lady." She said, failing horribly at sounding like a mother.

I swept my jet black bangs out of my face and began to read the job description. My name was now Ueda Mei. Well at least I got to keep half of my real name. My family got rich in oil in Calgary, Canada before returning to Japan with enough money to last several generations and currently possessed several profiting investment shares.

With my identity firmly in place I picked up the brochure, _Ouran Private Academy._

_How hard could this mission be? I'll be out by lunch today._

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><p><strong>Hi y'all. I'm Umbreonix, It's been a super long time since I've written anything for Ouran Highschool Host Club but I've had this story in my documents for years and just really really wanted to post it. So I did. Yeah. Cool beans. At this point in the process reviews are really helpful ;) *wink wink, nudge nudge*Afterall, this story is by no means already mapped out, it kind of develops as I go, so if you have any suggestions by all mean shoot. I'm not even sure I know who exactly I'm going to stick her with.<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you for reading everybody!**

**Neliel Von Schweetz- Yeah I didn't think they had crinolines either but the wiki said they did. Maybe they meant some sort of hybrid layer of of skirt that functioned as one. Either way I've kind made up for that in this chapter. Thanks for the correction!**

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><p>You know when you build something up in your head and then are almost always disappointed? Like when you went you buy a bag of chips and the picture on the front shows this beautiful piece of culinary art, glowing all majestically and such with this mouth-watering refulgence and then you open the bag and it's half empty, filled with dull, under salted, deformed, and broken bits? Maybe that's just me but that doesn't matter either way because this was not one of those cases.<p>

The academy was unlike anything I had ever seen. The front gates to the school was a five minute drive passing long sprawling lawns of thick meticulously cut grass. Considering the total area, this was enough to impress me, but the campus only became more surreal as we progressed, rose mazes with each individual flower an impossibly vibrant red the size of my fist, statues and immense fountains of clear water. Then we actually reached the school and I had to lean towards the window to get a better look. The massive buildings towered above us pristinely clean with intricate little details, not to be at all outshone by the surrounding scenery.

The interior was also impressive, I felt like an ant in the giant hallway and I looked up at the ornate ceiling in awe. "Isn't it wonderful dear?" My mother asked gripping my shoulders breathlessly. "Your father and I grew up near here and would always dream of going to Ouran."

It took me a moment to realize that she was playing a character. "It's such a shame he had a meeting and couldn't see you off to your first day." She frowned.

"Yeah." Was all I said. I wasn't really much into acting, so I'd always just say the bare minimum on jobs, blend into the surroundings.

A primly dressed woman hurried over briskly with a clip board. She stopped in front of us and smiled a bright, but obviously fake, smile. Her teeth looked too white, I couldn't stop staring at them. "You must be the Uedas!" She said, blinding me at each syllable.

"We are!" Beamed my mother discreetly kicking the back of my heel to stop me from staring at the woman.

"Perfect! Well if you follow me I'll be happy to give you the tour!" She lead us around the building, which, given it's size took half a day. I took in all I could, or at least what might be useful for the job. After all, there was much too much to memorize. If one wrote a book about Ouran it could go on for volumes. Coincidentally the next place we visited was library three which DID have an entire bookshelf dedicated to the academy's deep history.

"Amazing!" I said faking enthusiasm, "Now I can learn even MORE about the school."

The woman was still gazing proudly at the collection and didn't see my mother hit me. She also did not seem to catch my sarcasm. "Very right you are!" She said approvingly.

The tour ended outside my classroom. "Well then with that I would like to once again say welcome to Ouran! I would also like to congratulate you on becoming a member of class A. Not everyone gets put into this class especially those without extensive family linage." She sniffed.

I would have glared at her but I resisted by not making eye contact and thinking about kittens, adorable, adorable kittens.

"It's because of your amazing entrance scores so I hope you will continue to work hard, lest you drop to lower classes." She finished and led my mother out. I watched them go in shock. At best my grades were average, I was much better at being the muscle than the brains. It's not that I wasn't smart, if anything maybe I was too smart. Smart enough to save room in my brain only for what I'd need. Physics: The impact of jumping from any height of a building. Anatomy: where do I punch someone to ensure they stay down? Subjects with what I found to have practical applications were my strong points. Then, in the time I spent neglecting Shakespeare and the inner workings of plants, I learned more useful sets of skills.

Still, my family never seemed too impressed with my report cards. Out of anyone you'd think that they would understand. My mother looked back and gave me a look.

When cooperation in the field can lead to the difference between life and death, one learns to read a lot from the smallest of gestures. This look was telling me that, _Yes, they fixed the exam for me and yes, while I was here I'd better keep up on my studies_. She did this on purpose. Now I had to stay in class A.

Well, first things first, class. After that, to locate the twins. I stood awkwardly at the large classroom doors… Do I knock? Or just walk in? I really could have used further instruction.

I settled with knocking three times then tentatively peeking through the door. "Um, hello? I'm a new student."

The teacher gestured me in to the front of class for an introduction. The class watched curiously. "I am Ueda Mei-" At this, the majority of the class looked down, no longer interested in me, realizing that they'd never heard of my name before so I probably wasn't important. I would have felt irritated, but it made my job a lot easier.

"Your parents?" Asked the teacher impatiently. Most schools wouldn't ask that, I shouldn't have been expected to tell the class, "Uh, they're in oil." Was all I had to say. It was enough for the rest of the class to lose interest to. I scanned the faces. Well, found the twins. It certainly wasn't difficult finding two orange haired identical boys. The first doodled in his notebook, the second was balanced on the back of his chair perching his pencil over the bridge of his nose, tottering back and forth to steady it.

Disrespectful. I hoped he'd fall.

They certainly didn't seem traumatized by my mother's betrayal. In fact they sat in a way which put them on either side of a brown haired… boy. I think. They were one of those people who really could be either but you would never feel comfortable asking. He was wearing a male uniform so I guess it was safe to assume that he was male. Anyway, what I was trying to say here is they already had a friend.

He, I noticed, was the only one still looking at me. When we made eye contact he smiled.

I looked away in embarrassment. Then remembering that I was on a job and needed to play nice, I turned back and smiled… albeit a little grimly and took a seat. Ideally, directly behind the trio would have been the best location, I could see and hear them, without being too obvious about it, but this was impossible. A cluster of females encircled their table, each of these said girls occasionally sneaking a not-so-discreet glance at the trio. I was stuck moving to the very back of the class.

There was the faintest clack as the twin lost control of the pencil and it fell to the ground. From there pandemonium ensued. The females surrounding the three, turned from proper ladies to piranhas in an instant, all immediately lunging for the writing apparatus the nearest girl, diving in the most un-lady like fashion. After a scuffle too fast for even my combat trained eyes to follow the victor stood up wiping the imaginary dust off her skirt and turned to the twin immediately 180'ing her personality. "Um," She said with a soft and timid voice, "You dropped this."

The twin's eyes narrowed misgeiviously and made a sudden movement, cupping her chin with precision and delicacy, "Rather than just take back my pencil, do you mind if I take all of you?"

I could have sworn steam came out of my ears, did he seriously just say that? How embarrassing for him. The teacher at the front of the class merely leaned against the chalk board, waiting for this strange display to end. Which, by the way, only I seemed to find weird.

The girl melted, "Sure." She said dreamily.

The other twin pouted, "Hikaru." He said with a feminine voice. "Am I no longer good enough?"

The first twin's eyes widened and he turned to his brother immediately embracing him. "Idiot." He muttered into his ear, "You are all I'll ever need." He leaned out and the two gazed into each other's eyes, a nose-widths apart. The girls of the room squealed and I looked ruefully out the window, _Mother, what the heck have you gotten me into?_

The classes dragged by after that and finally it was lunch. I watched the crowds trickle out of the room, jumping when a gentle voice came from behind me, "Um, Ueda-san?" I swivelled in my seat slightly and looked back.

A shy girl in pink ribbons looked down at her crossed hands and back at me, her brown curls bobbing at the gesture. Another girl with short black hair stood behind her. "We saw you watching the twins in class."

Am I really that bad at my job? I did my best to look confused.

"Don't worry!" She said in a panicked voice, "Your secret's safe with us! Also we're not calling you out on it or anything! We're just huge fans and thought we might have a lot in common!"

"Do you want to join us for lunch?" Asked the other girl.

"S-sure." I said, utterly bewildered, this is not a common way to make new friends. Fans?

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><p>I looked down at my fancy French lunch feeling a little outmatched by the three course meal. I probably should have paid more attention during my mother's etiquette lessons. I wasn't quite sure what half the things were despite having <em>lived<em> in France for the last couple years. One bowl might have been a salad… or it could have been an accompaniment to another dish. I decided to follow the safest option, wait for the girls across from me to start eating and copy them.

I cleared my throat to cover-up the sound of my stomach growling, but unfortunately they took that as a que for conversation and their food was left neglected.

"I'm Usami Haruna!" Said the girl with the bows brightly,

"I'm Kitamikado Kozue." The other girl said shyly. "But please call us by our given names."

"So Mei," Said Haruna, dropping all formalities. I wondered what I could have possibly done to win over their affections so fast and undeliberately."What do you think of Hikaru and Kaoru?" Her eyes shone with excitement, awaiting my response.

"Uh.. they're ok." I said, they looked like they wanted more. _Just eat your grub already! I'm starving here!_ "… Sparkly." I finally conceided

"Right?!" Said Kozue losing her shyness in an instant. "Ah, and isn't their brotherly love beautiful?"

Huh, beautiful. Not the word I would use to first describe it. I'll play along though "It makes your heat pound." I said, looking away in such a way to pretend that I'm shyly admitting something. Did I say I didn't act? I retract that statement right here and now because this display was nothing short of masterful. They squealed in agreeance.

"We could just tell we'd get along!" Said Haruna, "Do you want to come to the host club after school?"

"Host Club?" I asked.

"You don't know?" Kozue in surprise, "The hosts are only the idols of our school, Hikaru and Kaoru included!" She pointed behind me and I turned to see the twins and their friend at a table a distance away with several other ridiculously attractive guys.

"Going right to left," started Haruna, "There's Mori and Hunny. They're both third years. Mori-sempai is the wild type, and Hunny-sempai is the loli-shota type." She pointed at a tall dark-hair man watching neutrally over a tiny blonde boy eating a vast array of cakes. "Then there is Ootori Kyoya, he's a second year who knows everything about everyone, he's the cool-type." A boy with glasses, living up to his type sat aside typing on his laptop with a calm and somewhat cold composure. "Tamaki-sempai is the club's king and he's the princely-type." This time she was gesturing to an almost beautiful mixed blonde boy. "Then there's Haruhi from our class, he's a commoner and the normal type and of last but not least there's the twins!" The first year hosts sat close together, the twins goofing around an exasperated looking Haruhi who appeared to be trying to study.

"So, what exactly do they do?" I asked skeptically.

"They're hosts, they entertain guests!" She said.

"Oh." I answered blankly. Is that really allowed? Sounds kind of sketchy.

"Come with us!" Kozue pleaded, "You can meet the twins in person!"  
>That actually sounded like a choice opportunity. "Alright!" I beamed and then shuffled slightly to try to find a more comfortable way to sit on the chair. "Is everything ok?" asked Haruna.<p>

"Sorry I'm just trying to get used to the crinoline, my old school's uniform didn't have one." I admitted.

The pair blinked and then burst out laughing, "You're actually wearing that?!" She gasped.

"Yeah…" I said.

"No one wears the crinoline." She shook her head, "It's not like anyone can check after all, teachers can't just ask us to lift up our skirts! Next you're going to say you are wearing the corset!"

I looked away in embarrassment. I might have been.

She pat my shoulder, "Don't worry, we'll look after you."

Maybe friends… aren't such a bad thing.


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks for the overwhelming support... and uh, sorry for the slow updates. You know... Exams. **

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><p>For weeks I had been envisioning this very moment. Excited by the uncertainty of my first solo con. By now would I be playing Russian Roulette in a grimy back room, or maybe crawling through the air ducts of the thirtieth floor of an office building to steal files? These were not farfetched questions either, those last two examples were my Grandmother and Aunt's first jobs. My visions also all included black spandex. Hey, some girls need diamonds, some frills, I like my shiny spandex suits to feel pretty.<p>

Naturally, I was prepared to put my life on the line, but _this_, oh no I did not see _this_ coming. _This_ might just be worse than every nightmare I've had over the course of my life. Blowing a rose petal off my face, I rose my brow utterly unimpressed.

"Welcome the the Ouran Host Club!" The voices exclaimed simultaneously as the doors opened too the squealing hoard of girls. I looked around in alarm and attempted a pathetic "Kya." Not quite reaching the pitch I was hoping for, voice breaking halfway at the unused chords.

The boys stood together posing for us. Somehow _not_ striking everyone as incredibly pompous and conceited. An arm pulled me along through the stampede. "Come on Mei." Smiled Kozue. I nodded and the pair lead me to a clothed table. A moment later the twins popped down across from us.

"Hmm?" Said the first, their eyes snapping to me, "Another kitten has joined us today." Said the second. They stood back up with smug and mischievous smiles, symmetrically parting to walk around either side of the table and surround me. Oh boy. This is not what I signed up for. I can run a mile without breaking a sweat but put attention on me during a mission and, geez, is it getting hot in here?

"What's your name princess?" Said the first, seductively lifting my chin before allowing his hand to brush up my cheek. Might I say he had ridiculously soft hands? I wondered what kind of moisturizer he used. I hid my own calloused digits into the folds of my skirt in embarrassment, averting eye contact at all cost.

"She's in our class idiot, maybe you should have been paying attention." Said the brunette boy while walking by. He stopped as a second thought and looked back, "Welcome to Ouran, Ueda-san." He smiled warmly, "I know it can be a big adjustment, just tell me if these boys are bothering you, I'll give them a talking to." My cheeks involuntarily flushed.

"Uh, yeah sure." I said.

The twin currently 'putting me under his spell' frowned and redirected his attention back to me and with more ambient roses blooming than ever, he lowered his voice to practically a purr, "Our Haruhi isn't poaching you away from me now is he?"

"Hikaru." The other pouted, a tear forming in his eye_ that he just couldn't bare to let us see_ so he looked away, "Don't you think you're overdoing it?" He asked quietly.

Hikaru looked at him with a conflicted expression. "Kauru…" He said softly, "You're not jealous are you?"

The other twin only ducked his head lower. Good God.

Hikaru hugged him tightly, "You know that you are my most precious person. You promised you wouldn't cry anymore. Or do we need to play the punishment game when we're alone?"

Haruna and Kozue nearly fainted with expressions of pure bliss but they revived, linked fingers, and squealed. I didn't get it. Like I kind of get the other hosts and maybe the excitement of them complimenting you but what's so great about two brothers ignoring you to engage in incest. I felt dirty just sitting there. Like when you accidentally go onto a website you shouldn't. Or when you create a fake ID to sneak into an adult club and steal a mob boss's wallet, if this comparison speaks more to you. Just to be clear I was guilty about seeing stuff at the club, not the wallet. That wallet is behind a display case in my room.

As I was day dreaming about my old exploits, stuff happened I guess and then- "LET'S PLAY THE WHICH ONE IS HIKARU GAME!"

I snapped my attention back to the two posing in front of the three of us, "Ueda-hime is new to this game so let's explain." Said one, "Though the rules are pretty simple." winked the other, "Guess which one of us is Hikaru!" They both announced.

The two shuffled on the spot and then looked at us expectantly. "I don't know." Laughed Haruna, "you two look identical." The girls chose indiscriminately and attention was turned to me.

I looked them up and down critically, this was my big chance, and they stood right before me too. I sized both up analyzing every last inch of them. There was the way their hair lay but you could tell by the part that it wasn't set and that they changed their hair up all the time.

"Just chose one." Kozue giggled, "You're taking this so seriously."

"Of course I am." I said honestly. "They're individuals, they should be seen a such, no one is the same person." I didn't mean this as something meaningful. Really I could care less but something flashed in the pair's eyes as they exchanged a look. I leaned back sighing in defeat, "I give up. I don't know you guys that well yet, if I win by guessing at random it would be meaningless. I'm going to take my time until I can get it right for sure."

They looked at me in awed shock.

A few nearby hosts looked over their shoulders as well, giving an approving nod or smile. I looked at them oddly, I didn't mean anything by it. It's my job. They probably now think I'm some sweet and charmingly determined girl. I held in the snort, I may just rob them blind someday, people need to learn to stop being such chumps. They oughta' learn a little from this entire school of two-faced maidens.

The girl's smiled at them, "So which one's which?"

The twins frowned, exchanged another look and grinned at them, "Not telling!" They said simultaneously.

"What?" Asked Haruna in disappointment.

Both twins grinned in at me. "Well we can't make this too easy for Ueda-hime. We're going to hold you to your promise."


	4. Chapter 4

**Happy New Years! I want to thank you all for taking the time to read it means a lot. Sorry I've had a really hard time finding motivation to update any of my fics it seems I can only write when I don't have the time to. Like, I just sit there at stare at the screen like, "How do I make good words?" Good news though, I'll stop having time to in a couple days meaning I might actually started updating! **

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><p>A soft trumpet was all I could hear in the empty multi-office building. The soft and lonely sound was scratched and echoed, bouncing through the abandoned corridors, with the distinctive scratched sound of an antique record player. I creped through with light steps down empty darkened hallways. Following the sound and knowing I was alone, I hummed along softly, the song long since memorized.<p>

I stopped at a non-discrete door, pulling a bobby pin from my hair to pick the lock, I know, not very original. The static trumpet gave way to the ominous plucking of an orchestra of violins and I stopped my humming, the door clicking open to an empty unused space. The main area was barren of any furnishing, still waiting for a company to take up the lease, or so it would appear on most days.

A light creeping under the door of one of the back offices betrayed its occupants. I entered the room, the family gathered around a table. The phonograph off to the side, amplifying old Vegas blues through its dirty brass pavilion. They looked up, "I'll be," Said Uncle Freddy, a foreign ex-mafioso married into the family. "Youse actually found da meeting spot, we was starting to doubt youse was gonna show up." He crossed his hands, fully displaying his tacky golden jewelry. He really did embrace the mob stereotypes. He was still one of my favorite people though as well as someone I'd much rather have as a friend than an enemy.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked offended.

"It just means that everyone else already cracked the code and got here." Said my Aunt Aneko smugly crossing one of her long slender legs. She, although being my actual blood relative and his wife, I did not quite like as much. If I had to describe her personality it would be... pointy if that makes sense. As a kid when I was only about as high as her legs the thing I always noticed about her was her deadly razor sharp heels. _Pointy_ toed with high frighteningly thin _pointy_ heels. Pointy, it's the only way I can think to describe her. It turns out you really can tell a lot about a person from their shoes. My cousins watched me with disapproving glances raising their almost unusually narrow noses and I suppressed my frustration. They really did think they were better than me but I knew I was every bit as capable as them.

I eyed the fresh deck of cards lay abandoned at the center of the table, they weren't lying, they really had been there a while. They played with a new pack each gathering, we may be family, but we're also thieves. No one was trusted not to cheat. Well, actually the whole point was to find ways of cheating that no one at the table would notice. It had become the main focus of the game over the years and was tremendously more entertaining than playing by the rules.

I plopped into the only empty chair left beside my mom. "I was out late working on my first job." I defended, if it weren't for the host club after school I wouldn't have had to endure this embarrassment.

"And how is it going?" Asked my mother in interest.

"I'm not talking to you right now." I dismissed her coldly.

She put up her hands sarcastically, "teenagers." She said to the table and they chuckled. I flushed in embarrassment and annoyance.

"Take it she doesn't like her mission?" Asked Uncle Yamamoto.

"You could say that." My mother laughed.

"Shall we get to the matter at hand?" My grandfather asked impatiently. He flicked his whitening beard, "The diamond's departure date to England has been moved… to tomorrow night."

"That gives us no time." My uncle said angrily slamming the table.

"We'll have to move fast." My mother bit her thumb.

"Why don't we nab it in transition?" I asked.

They all looked at me condescendingly. "_We_ aren't doing anything." My aunt scoffed.

"Don't get ahead of yourself junior." My uncle laughed, "Ya still gotta finish da job before you can roll with da big dogs."

I clenched my fist under the table, I was still being treated like a child. If I had just been able to complete my job today, things would be different. "I'll get it done." I mumbled, "Just you watch."

* * *

><p>I had entered my second day at Ouran with renewed enthusiasm and determination. (Corset and crinoline thankfully abandoned) It seemed like nothing could go wrong- but then the actual school work really started to catch up to me. By break time I just felt hollow. Ignoring the surrounding commotion, I stared at the blackboard blankly. I hadn't learned any of this stuff before, as expected of the top class of an elite school.<p>

It was a gamble now, do I focus solely on the twins with the intention of finishing the job before I fell too behind or do I catch up in grades to buy myself time?

I sighed, I have never seen so many numbers before in my life, even if I wanted to catch up…

"It's nice to see someone taking school seriously." Said a voice, I turned.

The other host Haruhi smiled, "You've been looking at the board all break."

"I don't get any of it." I said deflated.

"I could help you if you'd like." He said.

I blushed. He was so nice, no one had ever gone out of their way to offer their help to me before. "Uh sure." I said, "When could you?"

Haruhi looked up thoughtfully, "I have host club every day after school…"

"Right." I sighed.

"Though I don't really get many customers on Thursdays so maybe we could work together there?" He asked.

"Sure." I said immediately.

"Well then," he smiled, "I'll see you there."

"Absolutely." I nodded excitedly and then paused questioning why I would feel so excited about studying in the first place.

I was in for a surprise at the host club. Today was apparently a "themed day". Something Haruhi had neglected to mention. I was whisked away by hired help the moment I entered the music room.

"The host club is trying something new today!" Smiled the woman dressed as a maid, or maybe she was a maid. "We will be haveing both the hosts AND the guest dress up as you you enjoy the wonders of the ancient Egyptian deserts." I let my guard down for a minute and somehow in that minute the super maid was suddenly able to strip me down to my drawers and wrap me in luxurious white cloth all I could do under her hulk strength was protest loudly enough that the students in the other room were probably turning their heads in puzzlement.

The deed was done and I wobbled out of the change room feeling utterly violated.

I tugged at the fabrics uncomfortably. "You look nice, Ueda-san." Said Haruhi coming up to meet me and leading me to an empty table.

"Oh, um thanks." I said with a voice way to quiet and meek to be my own. I blinked and shook myself out of it, electing to glance around. the host club pulled out all the stops in decorating, I hardly even recognized it as the place I was in yesterday. They even filled parts in with sand and an actual oasis in the corner with real exotic plants. Rich people events. I bet they won't be the one cleaning this mess up.

I heard footsteps behind me but didn't bother to see who it was until they suddenly were thrown off pace, pausing behind me. "hmm?" I heard.

I turned, the black haired host with the glasses had stopped behind me on his rounds. "Ueda-hime." He said.

"Yes?" I asked, how did he remember my name? I didn't even remember his name.

"Your muscles are surprisingly toned for someone who's never played any sports." His glasses flashed.

"I played baseball in jr. high." I said going through all the checks of a convincing lie. Don't give more detail than he needs, it sounds as if your covering up something.

"But you weren't on your school's team." He said, "Or on any outside leagues."

"I played at home. You don't have to compete to play a sport. I also work out, I like to stay in shape." I said evenly.

"With no gym membership?" He asked. What the heck was with this guy? I'd only been here two days and I've done nothing to compromise my cover, yet he had to be deeply suspicious to dig up all this info on my fake history.

"Why would I go to an outside gym when there's one at home?" I asked.

"Home." He said thoughtfully, typing a few words into his computer "Where exactly are you living there's no registered address?"

"We haven't decided on our permanent home yet, my mother is really picky and is still looking for the perfect place that fits all her requirements. In the meantime we're living in a suite nearby." I had to be very careful with my words apparently, this guy was sharp.

"Kyouya-senpai." Said Haruhi with annoyance, "Ueda-hime here is trying to study."

"Apologies." He nodded his head and left.

"What the heck was that?!" I asked her. "Who was that?"

"The bloody shadow king." Haruhi muttered dryly. "Don't mind him he just likes to know every last detail about every last person here at Ouran, particularly our customers."

Have I already messed up, Kyouya did not seem like someone I wanted to be under the radar of. Obviously the host club was not the gift opportunity I thought it was. Though my family was incredibly thorough in identity creation, he shouldn't find any hiccups unless I got him suspicious enough to really dig.

"Shall we keep studying?" Asked Haruhi.

"Right." I nodded. "Uh, thanks for doing this again. I'm sure it's a kind of boring way to spend your host hours."

He stopped and looked up at me, "No not at all. I'm really glad you're here. The host club has been taking out a lot of my study time. This is really helping me out also."

"You're a scholarship student, right Fujioka-san?" I asked.

"Yup." He nodded, "I can't stay if I don't remain top in the class."

I coughed. "How do you have time to be here?! Isn't it stressful?"

"I owe the host club money after the twins cornered me into an expensive vase." He said dejectedly.

"Well how much do you owe them?"

"Who knows at this point? Senpai is always adding and subtracting amounts for various things…"

"Bloody shadow king." We both repeated at the same time and laughed. I was feeling a little giddy at that moment, I had never really connected with a person like this outside the family before.

'So let's move on to the next sample question." He smiled, a warm feeling blossomed in my chest. "Okay."

"What's this?" Said a mischievous voice and a twin slinked over my shoulder, the whole world was against us studying weren't they? I flinched at the contact the shear costumes allowing the sensation of skin on skin. The other twin leaned in front of me a little miffed. "Weren't you _our_ customer?" He asked. "Right after you said you'd learn to tell us apart too. Have you already given up?"

"You know we were joking when we said Haruhi was going to steal you away from us?" Said the one behind me.

"I haven't forgotten what I said. Fujioka-san is just trying to help me with the school work." I said evenly. "I'm having a bit of trouble making the leap."

One of them picked up a paper, "You're having difficulty all the way back here, you must be pretty dumb, how are you in class A?"

"Hikaru." Snapped Haruhi and he slinked back.

"Whatever." He scoffed, "We've gotta get back to work."

I turned back to Haruhi in surprise, "You can tell them apart?"

"Of course." He said, "For one, Hikaru is a lot meaner, their actions are subtly different too. It's not that hard to see once you get to know them."

Information noted. "You must be pretty close to them." I commented.

"Yeah I guess. Don't take what they said to you to heart. Stuff's happened to them in the past, they'd been looking for someone to tell them apart for a long time before I came. Apparently a maid they once trusted betrayed them or something." Haruhi shrugged, I looked away guiltily. "So when you said all those things yesterday, called them individuals and told them you'd learn to tell them apart they were really happy."

"Well I meant it." I said, "I really want to be able to tell them apart."

"Well I'd be happy to help you with any of that." Haruhi smiled.

With that I had just made a very powerful ally.

* * *

><p><strong>"Huh, hope this isn't going where I think it's going." <strong>

**If it is Mei's gonna be shocked when she find's out Haruhi's gender. Poor girl. **


End file.
